Yesterday

As I sit outside my little studio apartment at my table with all my flowers and succulents atop, my mind slows. I see beauty in sitting still. Sun is shinning in my eyes, but also shinning through the petals of my purple and pink and red flowers.
Fun how you can enjoy and notice and appreciate the simple things as you quiet your soul.

Anyway, yesterday...
I was able to train in a different position at work yesterday. I am learning how to admit patients to hospice. I got to see the beauty in the job. We introduce people into the space of acceptance. Acceptance of the things seen, and feelings felt as a person either is, or is watching, a loved one slow down and soon die. In admissions, we are the first to see a patient. Now the hard part is that we don't always know what we are walking into. There are many emotions that fill a room, no matter the size, to overflowing. People are passionate about living. People love their denial. Heck, I love my denial. But as we step into the house we hold up a mirror, a mirror that most try to avoid. No with the mirror of truth, we also gently follow with kind and skilled hands and heart that support and hold bodies and tears and anger and fear. We are seen either as the angles of death, or angles of mercy. I find so much meaning in my job. People are most broken here a lot of times, and God has allowed me in this space with them. To see myself. To see my lost heart. To see His faithfulness. His tenderness with people.

The person that was training me is an interesting lady... spunky and natural, full of vitamins and ideas.
As we talked and "bantered" about our different positions, and expectations that come along with them. As we were talking, she popped about 10 vitamins and supplements, and then took a vile of liquid and squirted it in her mouth. I found it very fascinating. So, I asked her what in the world she was putting into her system.
She went on to explain that they were liquids that we made from plants or flowers. She was explaining that there were negative emotions like anger, impatience, anxiety ect that each flower was supposed to help alleviate. In the moment, I totally accepted it as fact, found it interesting and a bit intriguing. I had thoughts of trying to find some for my own negative feelings like worry, or fear, or lack of motivation. Surly I too could benefit from such remedies.  

Then I came out to my little table this morning in search of God, of his presence, of his beauty. I found Him. He whispered to my heart, I have overcome the world. I live inside of you. You have my power to stand against your strong emotions. The emotions that seem so great. You crippling fear, your constant worry that you wont be enough for Me, your need for self control... I AM. I am your God. I am the one who loves you the most. I am the one that wants to heal you. I came to give life and do so abundantly. I am GOD. Will you let me in? Will you let me in? Will you let me in?
How easily I forget that I am in such need, depravity really, for My Creator. His mission and desire is to show us that he is a just and loving god. Such mercy He has on me each day.

May you be blessed this day, knowing that the one who knows you better than you know yourself, is at work in your heart if you allow him, to heal and restore your soul. We don't know what tomorrow holds, nor do we know when our last breath will take place here on earth... but be encouraged! God will walk with us as we have hurt, feel anxious, or angry, or are even dying.

WE HAVE LIFE EVERLASTING IN HIM!